I Thought There Would Be Time

Twenty-five years ago I met two of the most wonderful people in the world. Terry and Darlene were an inspiration to me. I never saw either of them angry--at each other or anyone else in the world. We met through our children who were playing sports. Terry was one of the coaches of the T-ball team where my son landed completely by accident, as I did not know anyone associated with his school or with the booster club. I didn't know to request to have my son placed on this team of star players coached by the world's most wonderful coach. Terry's wife Darlene was the scorekeeper for the team and also the unofficial team mom, just because everyone loved her so much. There was always a steady stream of kids in and out of their house, and my son became one of them. I remember the first time he spent the night there. When I went to collect him the next day I sheepishly apologized to Darlene that I had forgotten to send a toothbrush with him. She smiled and replied, "I don't think he missed it."

Darlene and I became the best of friends and at some point began coaching the youth soccer team on which our sons played. We were very successful, and I like to think at least some of it was our coaching style. But our boys were completely loaded with talent and were serious about winning while having fun. I remember those years as some of the best of my life.

But time moved on. The boys grew up. I divorced my (second) husband and did not feel comfortable in the circle of our friends who were married couples (totally unfounded). So we grew apart and no longer kept in touch. Over the years I have thought of Terry and Darlene many times and wanted to visit with them. I just thought there would be plenty of time.

I saw Darlene last night at family visitation at the funeral home where Terry will be laid to rest. I have not asked anyone how he died. (I had heard that he had been ill and using an oxygen tank and assumed he had emphysema or cancer from many years of smoking.) It took Darlene a minute to realize I was there, not because she didn't recognize me but because it has been so long since we have seen each other. It was like seeing something familiar in an unfamiliar place. She hugged me and we both cried. I told her I had thought Terry was a great man, that I had always been jealous of their relationship and wished that I had been so blessed. They were married for 37 years and were still in love, still doing everything together. I know she is going to be lonely in spite of her two loving (adoring) sons and their wives. Hopefully I can be of some comfort to her when she needs me.

Hopefully I will learn one day not to take precious time for granted.